delayed grief.

it's so strange.

I had this bout of delayed grief just now. right after my shower. suddenly missed chor kong (my great grandfather) a lot. Remembered some of the stuff he told me, about his life, what i shld be doing with my life - not all very good advice, but some was ok. And.. the frailty of life just hit me. You are born and after a short spell you're gone. Where do u go? The world's split into factions on that, but honestly, you gotta know don't u? Lest u live for a spell, infulence people's lives a little, but deep down, u're a selfish person and u gotta look out for urself, so u have to know where u're going after u're dead.

Won't it be sad if we just faded away after dying? It's like living for naught. But then again, what if chrisitians are right? Won't that be worse in way?